Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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