The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
