i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
