I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
