Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
