I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
