The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
