Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
