Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
