i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
