Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
