we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
