im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
