I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
