No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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