so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
