Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
