Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
