I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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