Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
