we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
