I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
