Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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