just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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