YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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