And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
