Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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