Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
