Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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