my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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