Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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