so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
