nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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