I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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