Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
