Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
