shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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