Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I love black thongs
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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