my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
