btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Let's paint friendship bongs
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
