In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
