Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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