Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she looked like the before picture.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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