Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
foreskin is a definite game changer
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
