K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Randomize
