if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Found the puke drawer
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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