so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
