He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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