Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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