His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
